Time to Plan

Deciding to leave a situation where you are being taken advantage of is a big step. Planning for this big life change can be exciting but also difficult. It’s time to think about what you will need to leave, both mentally and physically.

Becoming Mentally Prepared

Know your why

As you start planning, you might face challenges or feel overwhelmed. Take time to think about your “why”. Try to boil this down to just one statement, or a few words, that you can say to yourself when things get tough.
Some people rely on spirituality to provide a sense of hope and motivation to get out of exploitation.
Your why doesn’t have to be rooted in religion or spirituality, but it can help to find a sense of purpose or meaning in leaving. Some people find their purpose in their families, others in knowing they can help other people someday. Your sense of purpose and meaning can be anything that is important to you.

Start imagining your new life

What do you want your life after exiting to look like? Are there career, education, or family goals you want to reach? So many people have exited situations similar to yours and have accomplished all sorts of things. Your situation isn’t hopeful and you can make your goals a reality.
If you feel unsure about what you want to do with your life, that’s okay too, but it is helpful to have a vision of what you are working towards. Your goal could be something as simple as wanting to feel safe.

Get connected to someone who can support you

People exit situations where they are being taken advantage of in a lot of ways but a common thread is that most people want or need support. Start thinking about ways you can get connected to a support system.
Your support person can be someone you already know or someone you are just meeting. It is important to choose someone who is non-judgemental, supportive, and empathetic to your circumstances.

Some examples of supportive people include: a friend or family member, someone from the recovery community, a helping professional (like a social worker or therapist), someone from a spiritual or religious community, a lawyer, or even someone from law enforcement.
There may be reasons you think someone from this list would be helpful or harmful, think about what you think would be best for your situation.

Understand that there will be challenges but you can overcome them

Becoming Physically Prepared

Memorize numbers

Keep a written list of important phone numbers in case your phone is taken or damaged. Try to memorize them too.

Stay safe during dangerous situations

Exiting a manipulative or abusive situation can be dangerous. As you are planning to leave, avoid rooms with dangerous items like knives, tools, guns or no exits during violent situations. Safer rooms might be where others can see or hear what's happening.

Know your location

If you don’t know where you are, try to figure it out by looking for street signs, checking for addresses on buildings, or finding any newspapers, magazines, or mail with an address.

Protect your children

If you have kids in the situation, tell them it's not their job to protect you. Teach them how to call for help, where to hide during trouble, and practice your escape plan together.

Pack a go bag

If you think it is safe to do so, pack a bag with your most essential items. Items you should consider bringing are: Important documents (if you have access to them) such as your ID, Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, Green Card, Passport, etc. A phone and phone charger A change of clothes A few snacks Hygiene products, such as toothbrush and toothpaste, or tampons/pads If you have children, also include their essentials, such a diapers, wipes, formula

Create a signal

Make a secret signal or code with a trusted person to let them know you're in danger and what action to take, like calling 9-1-1.

Think Through the Exit

Consider your exit route

There are a lot of paths people take to get out of exploitative situations. Each person and situation is unique. Exiting is about figuring out what is going to work best for you. Start by thinking through:

What resources do you think will be most important to exit?

Immigration Assistance: You might be in a situation where you didn’t enter the country with paperwork. If this is the case, you might want to look into obtaining a T Visa or a U Visa. Working with an immigration lawyer could be the best option in these circumstances.
Employment: What will you do to earn money through the process of exiting? What skills do you have? What do you want to do? In some cities, there are employment programs that specialize in assisting people leaving commercial sex with gaining new job skills. Is there a program in your area?
Education: Some people find their way out of their situation through education. This can be through community colleges, trade schools, or universities. Learn more about accessing scholarships and financial aid at the Time to Thrive page.
Substance Use Disorder Treatment: You might be in a situation where you may benefit from engaging in a substance use disorder treatment program or rehab. These treatment programs may be outpatient (where you live in the community and attend treatment at a facility) or in-patient (where you live at a residential treatment facility while receiving treatment). There are programs that require strict sobriety or others that rely on medically assisted treatment. The choice is up to you. If you decide this is your path you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administrations Hotline to find more information about finding the right services for you.
Mental Health Services: Some people exit through engaging in mental health services. You might find it helpful to start seeing a case manager or a therapist. You can receive mental health services through in-patient or out-patient programs. You can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administrations Hotline to find more information about finding the right services for you.
Specialized Programming: There are many specialized programs throughout the United States that offer residential safe homes and case management to people seeking to exit an exploitative situation. There are also various shelters that provide services to people who have experienced domestic violence or homelessness. These safe homes and community programs have various pros and cons, different requirements, and lengths of services. You can call the National Human Trafficking Hotline, the Domestic Violence Hotline, or the Homelessness Hotline to find more information about finding a specialized placement or program that is right for you.
Social Support: Social support is an important part of exiting. Many people find themselves in positions where they are being taken advantage of because they don't have great support networks. Even starting with one healthy connection can start you on your journey to having the social support you need to exist.
Do I want/need to involve law enforcement?: Some people exist with the assistance of law enforcement. There may be reasons, like needing safety and protection, that may make this option a good fit for you. There may be other reasons, such as previous criminalization or being undocumented, which may make this a difficult choice.